A long time ago, don't know when and don't know where, because there wasn't any where and there wasn't any time. But, a long time ago there was nothing and it was no where that makes sense. Nothing can be no where. Nothing doesn't have to have somewhere to be, because it is nothing, and nothing can be no where. A long time ago there was nothing no where, a long time ago when there wasn't anywhere.

And one day this nothing all got together and decided to be something. Now something can't be nowhere, so nowhere is now somewhere, because you see it has to have somewhere to be something. Because nothing can be nowhere, but something can't be nowhere, it has to be somewhere. So now nowhere is somewhere and now nothing is something and this is a long time ago when there wasn't anywhere anyway.

And now this nothing that has become something is somewhere a long time ago when there wasn't anywhere and it got to going round and round real fast and a chunk of something flew off of something which was formally nothing and is now something and when it cooled, it is the earth you live on and that's really something. And they don't know where the sunshine came from but you can't live without it so that's handy and they don't know where the water came from, but you've got to have it and you can't live without it so that's handy.

And so there was water and sunshine and wind and the wind blew and the sun shone and the water rippled and the wind blew and the sun shone and the water rippled and the wind blew and the sun shone and the water rippled and that went on and on and nobody knows how long cause there was nobody here anyway.

And then one day a glob of jelly (protoplasm - amoeba) came floating up out of the water and it landed on the shore. Now most jelly would have gone right back in the next wave but not this one, it was a real sticker and it stuck right there for over four million years. For four million years doing nothing one day it began to wiggle, I don't blame it after four million years, I'd do something too. Now it began to wiggle and squiggle and giggle and then it came alive and then it died and the sands of time buried it, and it came alive and then it died and the sands of time buried it and it came alive and it died and it lived and it died and it lived and now you're not going to believe just what I'm going to tell you, but now, he teaches over there at the university. Don't get mad at me, I didn't say it. Evolution said it!

Preparing For Eternity
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